grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
