Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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