You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
