the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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