Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
