The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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