her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
