it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize