I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
