it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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