I heard we made out
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
