I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
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