she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
