she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I know her cup size but not her name....
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