i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
