idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
dude. I can hear the air.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
