This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
