So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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