Whod you bang
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
