I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
then he tried to convert me to islam
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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