I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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