just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
