i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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