Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
