Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
