It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We left an ass print on the piano.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
