wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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