i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
