my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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