So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
