im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
