Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
