Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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