AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize