Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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