OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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