got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
