i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
