I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize