and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
