It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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