North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
