I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
