**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I want to have your abortion
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
