I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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