Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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