Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
