Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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