We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
