Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I can't turn off my feet"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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