So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
