i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
organizing the empties. That sober.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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