last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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