"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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