You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
