i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
