Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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