I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
