Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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