I'm lost and stupid without you.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just found a bag of teeth...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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