I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
