The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
