I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
