Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
