guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
she woke up with a sticky ear
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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