So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
